3 H Blog

Becoming Happy, Healthy, and Holy

Mad No More January 12, 2008

Anger is one of the opposites of happiness. I think it is important for us to begin to try to understand why we get angry and why it is important to learn to get over our anger quickly and healthily to work towards more happiness.

I sometimes find myself getting angry over the tiniest thing: the lady who cut me off on the highway, the long line at the store, my spouse (enough said!), co-workers…etc, etc, etc! Why do I allow myself to get so angry? It really only hurts ME when I get angry and stay fuming over it all day.

Take, for example, my work. As you may know, I work in fine dining as a waitress. Although I am FABULOUS, I get the occaisional horrible, measly, too small 10% tip. “10%!!!!”, I think (yell) to myself, “Do these people think I work for fun? Did I only bring you 19 Dr. Peppers when you wanted 20? What is the deal!!????” This little inside rant can go on and on if I allow it to. However, this only raises my blood pressure and makes me look angry. If I look angry, I may get more poor tips from my other tables as well. This will create a cycle of anger that only hurts me.

Let’s take another example. Have you ever liked a lady one-on-one, but get her around a group and WHOA…irritation central? Perhaps she becomes a little louder, or leaves you out of the conversation altogether. Does she ignore you when you are in a group of other ladies when she usually is friendly? This happened to me several times in MK settings, and sometimes happens with co-workers. Most of the people that do this “personality switcharoo” in a group simple have trouble dealing with groups. If their personality is changing, they may be trying to impress someone in the group, avoiding someone in the group, avoiding someone to impress another, the possibilities are endless! Now, would I approach the person and ask them what’s up with that? That all depends. If I know the person well, I probably would. If not, I’d usually fume internally and disect their every word as if it was directed at me. Self-centered much? I have come to believe that thinking everything is directed at me or has to do with me is self-centered and not true. I may not like the way certain people behave in groups, but the reason behind that is not me. See how when you put in it perspective your anger fades and sympathy begins? It must be hard to feel like you have to change who you are depending uppn who is around at the time! I try to be “real” as much as humanly possible, but I’m also just plain too lazy to keep up with it all! LOL!

So dub me “Mad No More”! I am done wasting my day being angry. This brings me to another goal. I would like to memorize one scripture a week so when I do begin to feel angry, I can repeat that to myself instead of thinking about how mad I am. Praying something like, “Dear Lord, Please help Jane stop being so irritating” does not count, ladies! Hee hee hee. I will be changing the heading up top from “Favorite Scriptures” to “Scripture of the Week”. This week’s scripture will be what the bible has to say about anger. I noticed when looking up some scriptures that a lot of them have to do with God’s Righteous anger…anger at sin. Sometimes we should be angry, like when someone is murdered or sexually assaulted. However, the anger I speak of here is pety, silly, and immature anger. This is what I seek to personally rid my life of.

Here are some more links on how anger can affect your happiness and physical health:

Controlling Anger Before It Controls You

Anger as sin

Anger and Health

Health Risks Increase for Those who Struggle with Unforgiveness, Anger, and Unresolved Guilt


6 Responses to “Mad No More”

  1. shadesofpink Says:

    This is interesting. 🙂 I haven’t checked out the links yet, but I know anger is unhealthy. I don’t get mad. My husband gets frustrated because he gets angry about things that I don’t. Then he thinks I don’t care. I have a motto: Don’t sweat the small stuff!
    I’ve been under a lot of stress in the past year. I’ve taken up yoga again to help cope with it. My stress comes from my day job, marriage, life situations, etc. I think I was less stressed when I was dancing 30-40 hours per week. I am working my way up to more exercise. I’m starting dance and aerobics on Monday. Can’t wait!
    I really am liking your new blog so far. I’m not looking to lose weight (well, OK, maybe 5-10 lbs.), but I need to get back into shape. I went from 40 hour dance weeks to essentially nothing and my body isn’t liking it at all. I think it has affected my demeanor. I need to get those endorphines going again!
    Sorry for my little rant. 😛

  2. miss3h Says:

    Oh, don’t be sorry! I love your input!

    I think exercising is really helping my temperment. I don’t get angry as much because it is an outlet for my stress and my depression is gone. This is also partially due to my hubby being more helpful around the house. It makes me feel like we are a team again and closer to him.

    Anger update: This week at work, I have been feeling like some of the girls are a bit immature and “clique-ish”…which led to this post. One of the other girls (not in the “clique”) took it so personally and got her feelings hurt. I chose to know it was not about me and today things were much better. I think they reacted differently towards me because I changed my attitude towards them. I’m glad I let it go and that the air is all clear at work again. I really hate when my anger gets the best of me.

  3. shadesofpink Says:

    There are cliques where I work. It’s very childish. I’m just friendly to everybody, but I’ve figured out who matters to me and who doesn’t. I hope that makes sense without sounding really cold-hearted! lol

    You know what else I think really helped me? I think my private blog really helped. I was venting my feelings. I was writing them down. And I could read my thoughts and my anger and I have people who can read that and give me their honest input. It helped. I turned to blogging about my frustrations because I really don’t have many people who I feel want to listen to me rant and rave and worry in person. I started feeling cornered and really stressed out. So, I decided to keep a journal and allow friends to read. Most of the readers on there are people I don’t know in person, but I appreciate them greatly. Their feedback helped me through some crapola!
    Sometimes I get upset about things and wonder if I’m overreacting. Writing it out helped. A lot. 🙂

  4. Angie Says:

    Really enjoyed this post. Can’t wait to read your links. I have tried to choose my battles, if you will, and I have overlooked a lot.. I ask myself ‘will this matter in 100 years’? LOL!
    Hurt and anger get all mixed up and right now, I am going through a deep hurt, according to stats, anger will come, I need the links and a lot of prayer to realize that nothing can happen to me that God cannot work out for good in my life..if I let Him..
    The blogging does help, I have not yet started on my private blog, I used to journal and it is fun to look back and see how things worked out,,no thanks to my whines…and I didnt even have cheese…:)
    I think I try to avoid by focusing on other things, dunno know if that is good or not.. probably not..could that be creative avoidance? seems to help..I know I need to consistently write a prayer journal. or maybe just let it all hang out and get a marguarita and see what happens..lol..:)

  5. miss3h Says:

    Hey Angie! I find your politcal blog so interesting though! Thanks for visiting and posting here. I always love your input.

    I totally understand about letting God in…I have a problem with trying to do it all myself and not praying enough or trusting that God will work it all for my good. Silly me!

  6. Aura Mae Says:

    I stopped being angry when I realized that the anger hurt me and didn’t affect the object of my anger at all. Why should I slowly kill myself over someone else. That’s just dumb.

    The other people in my world are all actors in the improv troupe of my life. I get to choose how I react to them. I avoid the icky ones I can and ignore the icky ones I am stuck with.

    When my kids were young they would bicker and fight. When I finally had to intercede to minimize the risk of a trip to the ER, I would always ask them the same thing: If he/she is driving you crazy, why don’t you go to a different room?

    I use that same philosophy in my life. If someone is driving me crazy, I remove myself from the situation. I don’t allow anyone else to have control over my emotions. I choose how I feel, not the outside world.

    My ex-husband would excuse his anger by saying that he was just reacting to the stimulus around him. I call bull shit. You can’t control what happens around you, but you certainly can control your response to it.

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